my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
