scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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