i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
