alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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