There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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