dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
