i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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