We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
