She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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