i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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