I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
