I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
