I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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