I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
