Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
