Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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