love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
We smell like vodka and hangover
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