why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
