dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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