Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
