Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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