I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
