I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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