Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
