If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
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