lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
