Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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