So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
