She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
