Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
