i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
