My friends, they love my intelligence
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
