I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
