i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
