I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
