I am in a vortex of obligation.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
God, I missed his penis.
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