Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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