I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
