Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
