Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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