I think I am morally bankrupt
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Someone came in the potted fern
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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