you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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