He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
