I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
