He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
