adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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