the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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