I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
