Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
