another moral hangover. fuck.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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